Monday, November 23, 2009

am back.. but snail space tho..

hmm..gone mia for a short while., so where have i been lately? no-where.. still same me, same place, same thoughts but physically weak though. Would i say age is catching up? i won't deny, but surely it could be better, have to take care ya.. so i was kind of like gotten busy and a little "burn-out" frm attending to mum. Is not easy to be a "care-giver" [that's what they term or name]. Coping with her demands, her needs, her attention.. i juz slip off "coaxing myself"..

so accidentally, i hit the "depression mode" to ON instead of IDLE of supposedly should be OFF all d time :( But i thank The Lord for giving me psychology & counselling training way much earlier; so i notice the system was weird; such as i could clinch my fist, lock myself up in d bathroom & started wailing away. extra facial wash [crying] every night to sleep! i would even vent my anger on my clothes & clothes hanger!! Gosh!! was i up-tight? stress? mental? whatever??!!...

i didn't want to talk to anyone, didn't want to write, didn't even do any craft which i normally does & it helps very very much! i couldn't pray well, but i never stop "grumbling" to HIM, "speak" to HIM, "complain" to HIM! Perhaps this is also a way of "praying"! i shared & told my little cell group abt my feelings, haps & ask them help to keep me in prayers too; which i rarely does and they know, it must be serious or i did never ask, rather i used to be d jovial & encouraging one that pray for them instead.

of coz, things went lots better..; then; i had a bad sore throat resulted from a "chronic sinus" according to the ENT Doc. i was given 10 days medication to clear.. and that medication .. oh gosh.. send me daze..loose appetite.. looks like parts of engine needs over-haul .. :(

oookiee.. thank you PAPA God, i can smell the "freshness" of the morning air and "air-con" air!!
Thank You for Your Healing, Thank You for Your Comfort, Thank You for Your Strength, Thank You for EVERYTHING!! how could i ever cross humps, hurdles .. ... on my own ?!!

ok guess enough of bragging, would do some back-dated posting along d ways & days to come..
meanwhile, i pray good health to each & everyone.. :)

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