just wonder how many of us wanted to be recongized, noted, even applaud; or perhaps a better word i could think of "appreciate".. need not be rewarded in substance, but kind of just being noted. Yes, NOTED would just be enough - as for me noting just within their hearts, thoughts and not returning any "hurtful" or "insulting" words. That is my whole want, abundance of gladness, even joy knowing what i have done is being appreciated, being thought of..
but when appreciation is being taken for granted.. it truly hurts, disappoint. many a times, i did tell myself that perhaps they have just taken it as "habitual", "a routine", "a responsibility", "dutiful" .. guess the list could go on covering up for them, or merely consoleling myself; well, alright whatever, just let them be ya .. after all i did what i did.. as daughter, as good assistant ..
let go, let go of that urge of "appreciation".. it doesn't made me any richier; happier!! But non-acceptance, comparison ripe off every skin of peace, joy .. Lots of people gives that regular quote "GOD sees all that you have done, you will be rewarded" .. of coz i can't help but agree to that, but i would re-phrase, i don't need reward in return, what i need is LUV.. and please tell them, it is not a MUST or a RESPONSIBILITY or a DUTIFUL .. choices is there, just as HE has given us CHOICE.. so i chose to be loyal, filial, dutiful, responsible and not neglect.
well, perhaps i haven't learn hard enough to ignore "appreciation", okay.. i should let it "depreciate"!! let appreciation be depreciate to "ground zero" ... PAPA God, wash away my hurt and sew up my wounds and blanket me with your Great Favor & Love!! Thank Q..
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
it was fun..just like good ooold days, picking up utensils, messing up the kitchen. i still remember when i was juz 5+ old [erhhh.. once upon a time (.^) i used to tag along mum's side, "helping" her out in the kitchen.. ha..ha.. so to speak but well, at that age, is more of "playing" just like our "kampong" language call "masak-masak".. [it holds 2 meaning in malay tho i.e. "cook-cook" or "toy-play"]... ookiee.. back into the "yester-year scene".. i loves carrying those pots around; from floor to sink, but surely not to the stove area; that is a Restricted Zone for me.
i would help out the preparation of vegetables, more of "tearing" them up then cutting/chopping
i would try to "wash-up" dishes in a pail instead of in the sink coz i still can't reach even with the help of a stool. ha..ha.. lots of "oohs..NO.. NO.. wahhh.." from mum then anything else.. hee..hee..
hmm..could only trill back in memory lane.. while now i have the entire kitchen with me. no more yelling from mum, only "yammy" instead (*+*) .. most cooking especially chinese menus are either self taught through practical experienceing this & that or some viewing from TV and even flip flip of cook books.. hmm.. be bold.. test, try and yammmy good..
now tis american menu sure caught my eye and interest that i gave a go & learn it.. yes.. yes.. it was nice, lots of preparation work then chinese menu.. sequence of ingredients plays quite a big part unlike "my chinese style" of putting almost everything into the wok at a go.. controlling only over the fire of our stove.
alright so much of words & reflecs here's the college picture of what i have done :-
(1) clam chowder soup (2) baked marcoroni with cereal
(3) chicken pie (4) ice cream with rum & raisn ... yam yam