Sunday, April 18, 2010

when appreciation becomes "depreciation"..

just wonder how many of us wanted to be recongized, noted, even applaud; or perhaps a better word i could think of "appreciate".. need not be rewarded in substance, but kind of just being noted. Yes, NOTED would just be enough - as for me noting just within their hearts, thoughts and not returning any "hurtful" or "insulting" words. That is my whole want, abundance of gladness, even joy knowing what i have done is being appreciated, being thought of..

but when appreciation is being taken for granted.. it truly hurts, disappoint. many a times, i did tell myself that perhaps they have just taken it as "habitual", "a routine", "a responsibility", "dutiful" .. guess the list could go on covering up for them, or merely consoleling myself; well, alright whatever, just let them be ya .. after all i did what i did.. as daughter, as good assistant ..

let go, let go of that urge of "appreciation".. it doesn't made me any richier; happier!! But non-acceptance, comparison ripe off every skin of peace, joy .. Lots of people gives that regular quote "GOD sees all that you have done, you will be rewarded" .. of coz i can't help but agree to that, but i would re-phrase, i don't need reward in return, what i need is LUV.. and please tell them, it is not a MUST or a RESPONSIBILITY or a DUTIFUL .. choices is there, just as HE has given us CHOICE.. so i chose to be loyal, filial, dutiful, responsible and not neglect.

well, perhaps i haven't learn hard enough to ignore "appreciation", okay.. i should let it "depreciate"!! let appreciation be depreciate to "ground zero" ... PAPA God, wash away my hurt and sew up my wounds and blanket me with your Great Favor & Love!! Thank Q..

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